Not so long ago, Miss T. from the blog Verhext asked her readers what they do to ready themselves, physically and mentally, for the coming year/ when that sort of thing was needed. Everyone was all “bath salts this” and “meditative cleansing that” while I kind of crassly replied, “Booze. Lots of booze. Railed into my body. Until I fall asleep.” Not that I’m night cappin’ my way through life but, c’mon, a nice, warm wine-y sleep is one of those secret life pleasures and you know it.
However, history is proving me wrong. It seems that I really start off every new year by buying things. New things. In hopes that they will make my life better. Sorry, anti-consumerist, liberal haters- they often do.
This year, I bought a new pair of jeans that I liked so much, I quickly bought 2 more pairs online while they were still on sale. That is an increase of 300% more jeans in my life! At my current pant consumption rate, that’s like 5-7 years of usable pants! And, economically viable as a median 6 years of wear will mean a total of $10 a year spent on pants: a less than $1 a month pants fee!!!
I also like that they make my legs look not unlike a Robert Crumb drawing… which is pretty much what they looked like in the first place.
To go the extra mile this year, I also purchased a new pair of boots of Mr. Bass Shoes dot com. I had seen them before in my travels along the internet, but it wasn’t until over the holiday- when the platform of my day-to-day boots snapped into 4 distinct pieces, the soles fell off and refused to be reattached with wood glue, and 28″ of snow made wearing regular, lower cut shoes impossible- that buying new boots seemed like a good idea.
I love my Bass saddle shoes. They might just be the best things that I ever found at a thrift store (untrue*)
Because of my deep, deep love for these shoes plus my habit of being a total nerd (plus all the time I have on my hands tonight because I guess everyone went to New York City but didn’t invite me to go because I’m not cool enough or arty enough or something enough but screwouguysbecuaseIwouldhavejustdumpedyallandgonetomyfriend’sbirthdaypartyanywayhappybirthdayjohnnylucasyouarenowoldandintheway.)
I decided to compare the old shoes to the new shoes. There are some interesting and unsurprising differences, but it is nice to see what has and hasn’t changed, besides that Bass, an American “heritage” company now manufactures their stock in China.
Both shoes are a size 7.5 M but there is definitely a difference in width. I’ve even stretched the old ones out a bit. I don’t consider my feet to be especially wide, but the old pair were very narrow despite being marked as a medium width. On the other hand, the new shoes are designed more like a combat boot or Doc Marten and are a little on the wide side. Had I known this, I probably would have bought a size 7 to account for any future stretch issues. I think that I will survive, however.
There is also a good half an inch difference in length. I know that shoes from 30 or so years ago have more narrow proportions, but I didn’t think that there would be much of a change in the over all length! Vanity shoe sizing? That’s crap!
Sorry to get so into that, guys. So far, the first week of 2011 has been pretty great. I’ve been having an okay run at not eating too much sugar. And that says a lot because Dave just made a funfetti cake and left it, fully frosted, on the kitchen counter. On Wednesday, I got all of my chores and errands finished by 10:30 (am!) and was able to enjoy a superb coffee before work! I embettered all of my lame Etsy photos. I’ve eaten 2 enchiladas and 2 golabkis- according to Polish lore, this will ward off lice for the rest of the year! Dave and I have been watching lots of Louis Theroux documentaries. I might declare him my Valentine for the year but, I don’t know, Jesse Thorn of The Sound of Young America podcast is still a pretty serious candidate.
*the best thing I ever found at a thrift store were these two, large “Crying Girl” framed prints for reasons that I don’t need to explain.