Things I am into right now:
1.Polar Seltzer Water.
It’s been hot and Dave and I have been downing these local, Worchester, Mass. delights like no ones goddamn business. Few things can really pick up my spirits when I have sweat dripping from all regions of my bod and sipping on a cold seltzer at the beach is an A+ way to pass the hot times in relative comfort. Ocean State Job Lot has them for about $1 a six pack however, we often choose the tamer flavors, like lime-cranberry, lemon, or good, old “seltzer” flavored.
2. Super High Waisted Underwear.
I can’t abide by tiny undies no longer! I want something that goes up to my tits! If I can tuck it into the bottom of my bra and create a little underwear suit, all the better. I said this to Joselynn while we were checking out in the ladies’ underwear department of the Santa Fe JC Penny’s and the woman behind the counter laughed appreciatively. She obviously knows what’s up. Granny-pants 4 ever.
The Loved One makes a really nice looking pair of pantaloons in a “luxury” price bracket that is actually affordable. In this instance, “luxury” means “not all of my underwears will cost $35 but it wouldn’t ruin me if I had one pair that did.”
AlliHalla also makes some decent pants and will gladly make sure that all of her underwear styles are cut as sky-high as you want them. They are made to order and she also makes a great garter belt/bike short combo that I have been meaning to snap up for a while.
3. Getting Over The Fact That People Will See Me Running.
Along with “regular guilt”, “catholic guilt”, and “small business guilt”, I now can add on “runner’s guilt”. It’s time to pull it together and not feel weird, ashamed, and self conscious about running and working out.
Back in high school, this awful gym teacher was telling us about the importance of proper nutrition or something and a friend of mine noted, “Well, I’m a vegan and I try to eat beans and stuff for protein.” She immediately spat back, “So, you’re trying to tell me that you only eat vegetables and you are still that portly?” I know, in hind sight, that this woman was just, simply, a total, miserable bitch. Wouldn’t you be if you were stuck teaching gym at a mid-range, public high school in suburban New Jersey? But the judgement and the attitude, the complete lack of value and the grim reality of life-among-other-people, stuck very close to my heart. I still wince when I think about that line. And I think about that line a lot. When I make choices that might make my life better, the essence of that reaction is all that I feel. “Like hell you work out. You look like you are made of doughnuts!” Unfortunately, that is sometimes the iron string that my heart vibrates to*. It’s tough to quiet down but, hey, at least I’m trying.
*“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events.” Didn’t you know that I’m the type of asshole who keeps a copy of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay Self-Reliance on my beside table?